Latest Update *April 26, 2013*

I know it's been a long while since my last post. I've been really stressed and in my own world. I finished the first term of the Spring semester. I took Statistics for Decision Making and Principles of Management. It was the worst term since I've started at DeVry. The math class was completely different than the first three math classes I've taken, and it was harsh. I took my final for it a couple of days ago, and I am getting a C in the class. You have no idea of how relieved I am that I passed it. I was very very close of not passing it with a C. I don't know what I'm getting in Management yet, but it's at least a C. I'll admit, I didn't do my best, so that one is on me, but I did pass it, and I'm 90% sure that I got a B in that one.

Ever since my very minor surgery in February, I've been a funk. My body still does not feel normal to me, but like I said before, I've been extremely stressed, so I'm sure that's a big part of it. I started looking for a new place at the beginning of March with a small budget. Since the budget was small, and I wanted a two bedroom so bad, I became very frustrated and upset. I found a place that I really wanted to get into, but it wasn't guaranteed that I was going to get it because it was normally full, and they are not allowed to hold an apartment for more than two weeks. I, then, accepted that I will be seriously be downgrading from what I'm in now, but I was not happy with it. I learned that an apartment was going to be available on May 10th *when I was talking with the leasing manager, she stated that the 10th was just a guess because they don't know how the apartment is going to be when their current residents leave which will be on April 30th*, so I started talking with my case manager with the housing authority to see if I was able to move in early if I pay the extra fees, but she said yes as long as the lease started on the 1st of June. In other words, that was a no, because that was two whole weeks before the 1st. The leasing manager noticed by then that I really wanted to move in their complex, so she said that she'll talk to her boss and see if he'll let her hold the apartment for me for a month. A couple days later, I get an e-mail from the leasing manager telling me that her boss said yes, that they'll hold the apartment for me for a month.I got so excited, I scared the crap out of my cats. That was the first good news I've heard in a while. I turned in my 30+ day vacate notice a few days ago, and that was actually harder than I thought it was going to be. I've been in my current place for 8 years. My apartment is crap, but this has been my home for the past 8 years. This is harder than I thought it was going to be. I think I will feel a lot better once I have moved and get settled in my new place. I am FINALLY getting my two bedroom apartment. The rent is going to be cheaper, while this place keeps getting more and more expensive. One of the main reasons why I am moving 'cause of that, and my place is so old and outdated, but refuse to update anything because I'm still here. I am excited though. It is a big change that I need in my life, and I'm embracing it, and embrace it even more once I have completely moved out of here.

I'm sure people have noticed, but I've been in my own little world for a while now. I've been in one of my moods where I don't want to deal with anything or be around anybody but myself and my cats. I get that way every now and then. It helps me keep the sanity I have left, I think. I'm always playing games on Facebook, which occasional comments, and watching Netflix when I'm not doing school work. 

I hope everybody is at least content, but hopefully well. 'Til next time.

Latest Update 2/23/2013

As of right now, I am almost done with my current semester at DeVry. Starting on the 4th, I will be taking my last math class which is Statistic for Decisions Making. I am going to be very happy once that class ends because that would mean, “NO MORE MATH CLASS EVER AGAIN HERE AT DEVRY!!!! As of right now, I've only gotten A’s with a few B’s, so I’m a happy lady.

This year hasn't been a good year so far.. and it’s only February!! For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about my mom and dad *he’s still alive*, and I’ve been in a depressed state for a while now because they won’t leave my mind or dreams. My sisters planned that we should go to WV in the middle of March when I was in the hospital couple weeks ago. It’s going to be very unreal and nerve wrecking once I do see him. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him since 2004, but I’m excited. I hope I have enough money to pay my portion for the tip. I think I will.

On Monday, February 4th, I started not feeling so well. I ate some bad food, and I was really upset with a friend of mine *I shouldn’t have been ‘cause I knew it was coming*, so my stomach was very upset and crampy. On Tuesday, I was feeling better, but got that dull, recovery feeling, but I had blood in my urine which usually means I have an infection or passing a kidney stone. I wasn’t in too much pain, so I wasn’t worried about it. I walked my happy butt to King Soopers and bought some stuff to help. On Wednesday, I was fine. I still had the dull pain, but there was no blood urine or anything, so I thought, hey, whatever it was, it’s fine now. I took Ambien around 9pm, and then at 10, I started to hurt really bad and hard, and I knew exactly what was going on. I took a bath to see if it’ll ease up. Then I started puking, so I tried calling my sister, my baby sister, my two best friends, my younger sister’s best friend to take me to the ER ‘cause I couldn’t stop puking and I could not move. I had sharp pains going all over my lower back, mainly my left side, and a little bit on my right. Since I couldn’t get a hold of anybody, I wrote a post on Facebook begging to see if anybody was awake and was able to take me. My friend, Sarah, saw it, she texted me, and her and her girlfriend took me. I got there around 1am. My friends went home to get some sleep. Didn’t take my vitals and blood until 3-3:30am, and by that time, I was puking nonstop, crying, and seriously couldn’t move. They finally gave me morphine and some kind of anti-nausea medicine, and was sent back out. At 4:30, I was finally sent to the back to a room. The doctor came in and asked what I thought what was going on. I told him that I’m pretty sure that I’m passing a kidney stone because I’ve experienced this once before in Summer 2011, but it’s a hella lot worse this time around. He said that I was correct ‘cause there was blood in my urine and crystallizations, so he wanted me to get a cat scan to see where it is, how big it is, and whatever else. I took the cat scan around 5, and then I was starting to hurt again, so I got more medicine. The results did not come back until 6:30. By that time, I was livid, I wanted to go home, I was beyond tired, hurting, nauseated, and my sisters started texting me to see what the hell was going on. He came back in said that I should be able to pass it today *I don’t think I have yet*, but five days at the latest. It’s 5mm which is still small enough to pass on its own. If it was more than 6, I would’ve been screwed. The first time I had it, it was 2mm, so it’s bigger this time around hince the more pain. I also got UTI. They gave me Percocet and IB Prophen for the pain, antibiotics for the UTI, and medicine to help pass the stone. I got home around 8am. I had to walk to King Soopers to get my medicine filled. I came home, ate, took the medicine, and went to bed. I was in a lot of pain by the time I got home the second time, so it took me a while to fall asleep. Of course, when I woke up, I was puking like no tomorrow. I was thinking at the time that I was getting all that drugs out of my system. I went back to the ER on Friday afternoon. They pain was so unbearable to the point I couldn’t inhale and exhales without being in major pain. I took the cab since I was not going to try to find a ride around 4pm. I was finally admitted around 11pm. I had surgery at 1pm the next day, *Saturday* to see if they can laser *blast* my kidney stone, and put a stent in to make things go easier. I guess it got my kidney stone out, just have to deal with a stent for a few days, and recovery pain. I was released from the hospital that night, but was told that I will having a stent in for at least two more day. Boy did that make my life a living hell. I was in major pain until around Wednesday. I got the stent out of my system by Monday evening, but I still had left back spasms every now and then. That crap hurt!! It wasn’t sharp, but dull intensified by a million with the throbbing to make it worse. I am almost back to normal. My body is still sensitive, but then again, it went through hell and back in less than a week.

I found out the other day that somebody in Texas used my SSN to file for taxes.. and they got a refund. My baby sister and her best friend came over to figure out what the hell was going on, and to get a PIN or AGI so I can file my taxes this year. It didn't work, so I had to send out my taxes by mail which is stupid, because I want my money!! My younger sister, my baby sister, and I are planning on visiting my Father in West Virginia for Spring Break. It would be the best time to go before my younger sister gets too pregnant to go anywhere. The refund is the EXACT amount I need to pay my part of the vacation. It’s only February, and it hasn’t been a good year so far. We got transferred over to Identity Theft when we learned that somebody else used my SSN. I’m nervous about everything because I can’t do anything at the moment, and they are starting up an internal investigation. They have the Texas address on file! I haven’t noticed anything wrong with my credit report, so that’s good. I have a feeling, but not a horrible feeling, so that’s keeping me calm for now. My baby sister asked if anybody else has tried to file again this year, and thankfully the answer was no. I’m hoping that everything is fine, and I don’t really have to worry about anything. I’m crossing my fingers!! I pulled up my Credit Report and everybody looks fine. I e-mailed my Housing Authority chick, and she says that no employment activity has been alerted by using my SSN which makes me feel a little bit better. I wrote a letter to my Food stamps/Medicaid to let them know what was going on. One of these days, my baby sister will be taking me to the SS office, so I can talk to somebody personally to see what I need to be doing next. So hopefully nothing went wrong, but I’m not holding my breath until somebody tells me that everything is okay. I had to mail in my tax return for them to accept it, and go from there.  

Korn 2012 in Phoenix, AZ

A very good buddy of mine had me fly to Phoenix, so I can see Korn with him. At first, I was completely freaking out because I hate flying, I'm going to be a new place where I've never been, and I didn't know what was gonna happen once I got there.

Well anyways, we went to Red Lobster on the first night in. Very awesome food, but shitty ass waiter that we had. I had to talk my buddy of not writing down a tip for the man because he sure as hell didn't deserve it. I had Subway when I came in since I had to get something to eat before taking a nap. That flight took it  out of me!!

Hung out with a good friend of mine on Saturday. We met up at Chili's for lunch. It was pretty awesome to finally meet her. Patrick went to get his hair cut, and then got himself some food. We came back, I took a shower while Patrick did his work hours for the day, and then we went to the State Fair at where Korn was going to be performing at!! We had State Fair food for dinner which was fine by me. I was hungry. =o)

We finally made it into the stage area that Korn was going to be performing at. We got into seats, thinking that there was going to be an opening show for them. Nope, it was them, and all them for two hours!! I was in heavy when I learned that. =o) They were AMAZING!! I was able to take some good photos and videos.. I'm really short and new to my current camera, there were some screwy ones.. but that's fine by me.. 

Well, enjoy the photos!! I will try to upload the videos.. if I can.. Enjoy!!

~Tammy

Rebecca and I after lunch.

Cool shot.. still don't know where that is to know what that is!

My Wall

Driving me nuts.. can't figure out what song this is.. 

Depeche Mode - Barrel of a Gun *Lyrics*

First song listed on their album, Ultra. It's a good song. Enjoy!

Depeche Mode - It's No Good *Lyrics*

I was cooking lunch for my niece and I, so I plugged my usb thing into my stereo to play my list of songs on there, and It's No Good came on. While I'm dancing to it, it came to me that this should be my next project, so here it is!

Linkin Park - In My Remains *Lyrics*

This is one of my three favorites from their album, Living Things. I said I was going to make three videos, and I did. I'm sure I'll do more from this album down the road. Enjoy.

Linkin Park - Lost in the Echo *Lyrics*

Oh my gosh, it is finally done!!! There are some stuff I need to go over, but all in all, it is DONE! It took me about a week to get all of this together. Last night *July 22*, I was about to give up. I had to save the files into a Jpeg, and Windows Live Movie Maker did not like me timing them. I was freakin' furious, to the point I had a splitting headache. So, this morning, I decided to download another video editor, and I got it done! I am SOOOOOO proud of it. Some of the words, you can't really see, so I'll edit and re-upload it.. I'm not in any hurry, but it'll get done. It does seem to be a little better when it's on a bigger screen =o/.

Please let me know what you think of it. I hope y'all like it!!

~Tammy

Linkin Park - Castle of Glass *Lyrics*

I decided to do three songs from Linkin Park's latest album, Living Things. The first one I did was "Castle of Glass". I think this is my number one favorite from this album, but I can't decide! I hope y'all enjoy..

Eric Clapton - (I) Get Lost *Lyrics*

My favorite Eric Clapton song, (I) Get Lost. I don't know why I like it so much, but I do! I hope y'all enjoy.

Countdown - 13 to 1

I'm bored, and I thought this was kinda interesting.. enjoy.

13 Things I Wish I Could Say to 13 Different People: 

1. I am very happy for you. I'm glad that you finally found somebody for you who makes you happy. I hope you never shut me out. I really care about you, I always will.


2. I will never understand you. I will always love you, but I really can't trust you, and it's going to be very hard to regain it. I wish you'd realize that you are missing out a lot of great stuff.

3. I am giving up on trying to be a friend. I'm not needed, so I give up. You're so freakin' selfish and you're hurting a lot of people in the process. You need to wake up, and get over yourself. I know that you know that I'll always be around, but I refuse to seek out your friendship any longer.

4. We met online, we're always going to remain online friends, NOTHING more. You need to give me up on trying to become more than friends. I refuse to do it. You don't know what love is, it's obsession. You need to give it up and move on, or I'm just not going to talk to you at all.

5. I love and miss you more than anything. I wish you were here with me and my sisters. I think you'd be very proud of us.

6. I wish you would leave your world and be the person that me and other people in your lives need you to be. We really do need you to be a part of our lives.. through thick and thin.

7. If you want a girlfriend, only like one girl. Don't try to get a girlfriend just to have one. Nicknames right off of the bat, is very unattractive. Get to know the girl first, use her name, and become friends, and then go from there. Asking to be your girlfriend right off the bat and stating how you wish you were their boyfriend and want to cuddle creeps some girls out.

8. I don't have anything else to say at the moment.. I'm sure I do, but I'm having a brain fart.

9. For some weird reason, I really like you. I never thought I would, since I have certain rules when it comes to dating. We have a lot in common, so it's really weird, but I'm glad we are friends, and that's good enough for me.

10.

11.

12.

13.

12 Things About Yourself:

1. I just turned 30 years ago. Yippie for me.


2. I am the first Caudle to get a college degree!


3. I do hate school, I really do, but I'm still working towards my goals.. next one is getting a bachelor's in Graphic Design.


4. I would LOVE to create lyric music videos professionally..


5. I've always been a listener, not a talker.. considered on becoming an Online Therapist.. maybe one day, I will.


6.  My dad's nickname for me since I was a baby is Worm.


7. I'm really not a people person, so I'm nervous on becoming a Graphic Designer.. but I love the work.


8. I gave up smoking a year ago in August! Yay for me!!


9. I finally made my first fried egg last week. I'm trying to get into cooking.


10. I despise of being ignored. It makes me feel little and worth nothing, but I don't have the heart to ignore anybody even when they deserve it.


11. I am so easily fascinated. Yesterday, at Quail Lake, I saw a seat floaters for the lake. A couple went fishing, so they brought the floaters to fish so they wouldn't have to use a boat or stay on ground. I thought that was so darn cool. I couldn't get over it!!


12. I'm big on tradition. It's going to be a weird 4th of July. First year without my sister and nephew.

11 Ways to Win My Heart:

1. First and foremost, have a sense of humor! I love to laugh. Laughter has seriously saved my life.

2. Gotta like me for me, no pity or any of that shit. I've had enough of that in my life.

3. Taking the time to get to know me. Being an actual friend. I don't trust people, so this would be the first step.

4. Be honest with me. In the past, I've told people that I liked them, and they said 'oh I like you to, but I don't want to date yet, but we will' and then starts dating other people or 'we're too good of friends to date', I've gotten to the point where I'm not going to say anything. If I don't return the feelings, I will tell them in the nicest way possible, and hope to remain friends. I'd expect the same.

5. Um, I don't know what else. This sounds like a dating service survey part! I'm not looking for a relationship. I mean, if it happens, it happens.. so I guess I'll continue to be forewarned, I guess?

6.  I am terrible at communicating at times. I don't really text people unless they text me. I am SO working on that. At least I'm trying to. =o(

7.  Showing interest and taking the time to express those interests with me. For example, music. I love sharing music with other people. It's a great way to learn other stuff that I never even heard of! It'd be awesome for someone to take me to a concert that we'd both enjoy.. that kind of thing.

8. Taking the time to get to know my family and friends. If you don't like them, but respect them, that would mean the world to me, but I would seriously hope you'd like them and want to spend time with them as well. They are very important people in my life. I can't imagine my life without them.

9. Loving my babies, Billie and Luci. My cats are my kids!!

10. If you cook for me. Hell yeah. I don't cook, but I'm trying, but if a guy can cook. I'd be heaven.

11. I've never really been in a relationship, so I'm very independent. I wouldn't know what to do in one, so patience would be the key.. but I have to like the person enough first

10 Things That Cross my Mind A Lot:

1. How are my sisters are doing.
2. How my dad is doing.
3. Bills, bills, bills. I hate money
4. I wish I had a car so I can visit my sisters.
5. What am I going to do today?
6.  My mom
7.  Hope that Carla and Lynn are doing well.
8.  I'm ready to kick someone's or two ass, but it's not worth it.
9.  It's so freakin' hot.
10. I hope the fire calms down, and that we don't lose anything or anybody else.

9 Song Lyrics Floating Around In my Head:

1. Now I just have "In My Head" by No Doubt in my head now.

2.  The chorus of "On the Road Again' sang by Donkey from Shrek.. a buddy said that he was on the road, and it popped in my head.. now it's there again since I'm thinking about it.

3. It's not unusual to be loved by anyone with Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince dancing.

4. Chorus 'It's Five O' Clock Somewhere' by Alan Jackson.

5. The Dance by Garth Brooks.. more the piano, than anything.

6. Coming Undone by KoRn

7. In the End by Linkin Park

8. Cleanin' Out my Closet by Eminem

9. Ends by Everlast

8 Things I Collect:

1. Shows on DVD
2. Movies
3. White Tigers stuff
4. Wolves stuff
5. Live, Laugh, Love stuff
6. Bills
7. Hoodies
8. Taz stuff

7 Things I Always Carry:

1. Cell phone
2. Keys
3. Hearing aid batteries
4.  Debit card
5.  ID *most of the time*
6.  Foodstamps card
7. Ring on my keychain.

6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:

1. Own my own home
2. Become a successful Graphic Designer
3. Visit Ireland
4. Be debt free!!
5. Own a Chevy Silverado
6. Visit my Dad

5 People Who Mean A Lot to You at The Moment:

1. Becky
2. Janet
3. Bryce
4. Abagaile
5. Brandi

4 Things You Can See Right Now:

1. The screen
2. Cell phone
3. Billie
4. Clock

3 Things You Wish You Had:

1. Money!
2. My mom
3. My own house

2 Things You do Before Bed:

1. Say goodnight to my ladies.. even though Luci likes to keep me up like last night.
2. Go to the bathroom.

1 Confession:

1. I'm a lonely person at times, and that's alright, sometimes.

NOW TAG THIRTEEN OF YOUR FRIENDS

Colorado News

Colorado has been my home for the past 22 years. There is a lot going on in a short period of time! I figured I'd share a blog about it to let it be known, and make it easier to get information and updates. I will provide links to those, and ways to help if you want to and am able to!

I'm not a praying type of person, but we can get all the prayers, thoughts, vibes, whatever you're comfortable with! I heard that there are now 10 fires in Colorado. There is a serial arsonist out there. There has to be.

I have been following Waldo Canyon Updates to get the recent updates. I'm also been following KOAA 5's Facebook Page and Colorado Springs Gazette's Facebook Page to get updates as they come in.. if you want to follow, that's where I'd go. I almost want to stop checking 'cause it's really freaking me out!

If you live in Colorado and want to help, here are links and numbers for you that I got from the Gazette's website..

Care and Share Food Bank for Southern Colorado needs Gatorade for our firefighters, along with soup and cereal. You can drop off donations at 2605 Preamble Point.

Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region offering FREE cat adoptions starting at 11 a.m. today. This will make room for incoming animals from the Waldo Canyon Fire.

YMCA of Pikes Peak Region opening aquatic sites to evacuees needing to shower during regular business hours.

Family Life Services opening up space for affected business to work. Please contact Julie Abel at julie.abel@flscs.org

FREE Sky Sox tickets offered to displaced evacuees to today's 1 p.m. game as well as Monday's 12:35 p.m. game. Call 597-1449.

Wondering about how to volunteer with the Pikes Peak Red Cross? Volunteers are asked to visit their office at 1040 S. 8th St.

Goodwill expected to release information later today about their anticipated needs.

All Breed Rescue is accepting animal evacuees at 20 Mount View Lane. Call 264-6460.

Food Pantry open for evacuees at Grace Be Unto You and Grace Mountain Church, 3195 Airport Rd. at Chelton.

The large animal shelter at Penrose Equestrian Center needs volunteers. Call 520-7773.

Mountain Springs Church is accepting the following: paper goods, pillows and air mattresses, beverages and bath towels.

Ice, coolers and pet food can be dropped at the Cheyenne Mountain High School Evacuation site, located at 1775 LaCleda St. VOLUNTEER VETERINARIANS are also needed.

Rocky Mountain Healthcare Services providing shelter for evacuees. They also accomodate pets. They are located at 310 S. 14th St. in Old Colorado City.

Norris Penrose Events Center needs fans, extension chords and hay. 1045 Lower Gold Camp Rd., 625-1101.

Trinity Nazarene is offering respite for evacuees between 1p.m. and 8 p.m. They are not a shelter but want to provide comfort and air conditioning for those waiting to return to their homes.

Downtown's newest hotel, The Mining Exchange is offering a $99 overnight rate for evacuees.

 

Norris Penrose Event Center needs fans, extension chords and hay. 1045 Lower Gold Camp Rd.

Taz Drawings

Growing up, I've always been a huge fan of Taz, the cartoon character. I used to draw his character when I'd get a new shirt, or anything else that had him on it. I have one of Daffy Duck and Garfield.. Garfield is my second favorite cartoon character. I need to start drawing them again! It's been at least 10 years since I last drew one of them.

Did this one in my Drawing I class in 2001

Got this from a notebook I own.

Candy wrapper

Shirt that I own.. I believe.

From one of my favorite shirts.

Candy Wrapper.. I believe or a shirt.

Candy wrapper.

I have more, but they wouldn't upload. I think I will start drawing them again.

Skies, oh so many wonderful Skies *photography*

One of my favorite things to take photos of is the sky/clouds. They are very interesting to look at and sometimes gorgeous! I haven't taken any in a while, but here are the ones I've taken in the past. =o) Some of 'em were taken by my cell phone as well. It'd be awesome if I ever became a professional photographer who focuses on the sky, landscape, and animals. =o)

Enjoy!

Paula Abdul - 1990 Medley Mix *Lyrics*

Since the late 80's, early 90's, I have been a huge Paula Abdul fan. If you're close to me and known me for YEARS, you know this. I decided to challenge myself in creating a lyric music video, so I chose to do a medley! Since Paula is my favorite artist, I chose to do one of hers. I'll admit, it can be a lot better, but I am pretty darn proud on how it turned out! I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it.

Nager Syndrome

People have always wondered what kind of syndrome I have. When I took Public Speaking, my first speech was an informative speech. I chose to talk about my syndrome. It was an easy A.. I decided to share that with you guys.. I will always attach photos at the end with more information.

~Tammy

Tammy L. Caudle

COM 115-109 - Public Speaking

Prep Outline - Speech #1

Nager Syndrome

1. Introduction
   1. When growing up, people have always asked me why I am the way I am.
   2. Nager Syndrome is a rare syndrome.
   3. People will have a better understanding on what I have.
   4. The three main points that will be discussed are what Nager Syndrome is, what the distinct characteristics are, and a tiny bit about the rarity of it.

Now I will be talking about what Nager Syndrome is.

1. Body
   1. What is Nager Syndrome?

            i.       It is a condition that affects the development of the first and second branchial arches.

1. The branchial arches are the body structure parts of the face, mandible, ears, and neck.
   1.  The first arches are the nerves and muscles help mammal chew, the use of the lower jaw, and includes two out of three bones that concerns the ears.
   2. The second arches are the nerves and muscles that allows the facial expression to happen, along with the one bone in the middle ear, most of the external bones of the ear, and parts of the bone above the larynx.

 ii.       It’s also a condition that affects the hands and arms.

It’s time to talk about the distinct characteristics that most Nager Syndrome patients have.

1. What are the Distinct Characteristics?

       i.      Non-functional elbows and thumbs.

1. The bone for the elbows may not form or be melded.
2. Thumbs may not have knuckles or be really small, so not able to be of use like normal functional thumbs.

         ii.      Cleft Palate

1. It’s an opening at the tip of the mouth.

         iii.       Hearing Loss

1. The bones in the middle ear are usually not developed correctly, known as conductive hearing loss.
2. 60% of people having this syndrome has the conductive hearing loss.
   1. People usually wear a bone conductive hearing aid so they can hear almost as well as everybody else.
   2. Speech impediment comes along with the hearing loss.

          iv.       Development issues of the arms.

1. The radius bone is non-existent or smaller than it should be.

          v.      Development issues of the lower jaw

1. The lower jaw is very small so it doesn’t grow along with the upper jaw.

Last but not least, how rare is rare?

1. The rarity of the syndrome

            i.      The syndrome is so rare, there has been around 75 cases reported.

            ii.      The actual cause is unknown, but it’s been proved that it’s genetic.

It’s an interesting but a little frustrating syndrome.

III. Conclusion

1. Nager Syndrome is a syndrome that affects different parts of the upper body; It has very distinct characteristics; It’s so rare that there have been around 75 cases reported.
2. Nager syndrome is rare, but now people should have a better understanding on what it is specifically.
3. Since people have always asked me why I am the way I am physically, I have decided that they should be educated about the syndrome.

Relationships

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. Why? I have no clue, maybe because I just turned 31 years old back in June. For my entire life, except for a month/month and a half when I was 16, I have been single. Even then, it wasn't an actual relationship. All we did was just hang out like I hang out with other guys in my life. Never even been kissed. I can't even imagine ever kissing anybody. How sad is that?? Never been on an actual date. I went to my high school senior prom with a very good friend of mine *I didn't want to go, but family members insisted, and it was a group 'date'*, and we ate at Marconi Grill on Valentine's Day when I was 18. I wouldn't call those dates since it was two close friends keeping each other company 'cause we had nothing better to do.

I've always been a person who tells the other person that I like them, and ask them out. I'm so not a traditional girl! I believed that if you want something, you gotta bust your butt to get it or make it known. Notice the word 'believed'. I don't necessarily believe in that anymore when it comes to feelings that goes along with relationships. I always get one of the two which 'we're such good friends, I don't want to ruin that friendship' and 'I'm not ready to date, but when I am, I will let you know 'cause I like you too', and then start dating other pepole. Complete bullshit. Oh well, I'm so over it. I'm just not going to tell anybody that I like them unless they tell me first. Makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me? Am I not worth it or what? I know that's not me, it's them, but I do question that every now and then. Even though, I truly believe it's them, not me, because it doesn't hurt any less. There are times where I want to ask 'Is it because you're uncomfortable around me? Am I not good enough for you even though you know there's a chance that I might be? Am I really not deserving to be loved and taken care from other person?' This really eats at me from time to time, and it really brings me down. I feel like I'm a failure when it comes to intimate relationships. I just one chance to be loved for who I am, does not pity, and truly values on who I am as a person. Not degrade me 'cause my physical body.

There have been at least two guys who were interested in me, but I have no interest in them. They either creep me out, or I just don't have that kind of connection with them. I gotta say, I'm glad that I say no, 'cause I'm doing what feels right for me. I think I would hate myself if I said yes and not be happy with the person since my gut very rarely steers me wrong. Some people just don't get that, and it frustrates me!

Since I've been single for so long, I don't think I would know what to do if a guy I like actually likes me back and decides to give me a chance. Then my fear is that I will screw it up because I don't know how to be in a relationship. I talked to my sister about this, and I agree with her. Maybe I'm a person that does not do relationships, and I am fine with that. I think I just want to know that mutual feelings can be shared, and that I am the girl of his dreams. I'll admit, I will totally freak out 'cause it would be entirely new thing to experience. I wouldn't know how it would feel for somebody to genuinely care about me and want to be with me, and it scares the crap out of me.

I'm content with what I have. I am glad to be 'one of the guys'. As long as I have my sisters, and their kids, and good friends, I can never be alone, and I'll always be content and happy about it. Even though, I  am completely satisfied with my people in my life, I am human, so I still wonder why other parts of my life don't work out. I just want to know if I'm worth it, or not..

Me and my brain, it thinks too much especially when it's not needed. It's just one of those things I wonder and think about. 

The Moon *photography*

I love taking photos especially of the sky, landscape, animals, and loved ones. I think I will try to become a professional photographer of animals and landscape that includes the sky! We'll see about that! I wanted to share some of my moon shots that I have taken!

My absolute favorite shot I've taken.